1
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- Hey, Mac.
2
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- Yeah?
3
00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:09,660
Bull's been late four days straight.
4
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What's going on?
5
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Bull's got himself a girlfriend.
6
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Oh, really?
7
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Animal, vegetable or mineral?
8
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Uh, no, thanks.
9
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I had a shrub for breakfast.
10
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Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
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- Bull, how about calling the court to order?
12
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- With pleasure, sir.
13
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All rise.
14
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Criminal court part two
15
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is now in session...
16
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...the honorable, adorable...
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...kind, compassionate
18
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Harold T. Stone presiding.
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You may all be nauseated.
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- What's this?
21
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- I wrote you a poem, sir.
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A poem?
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Da, da, da, da, da, da.
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Oh, come on. Read it to us, sir.
25
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I did.
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Da, da, da, da, da, da.
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At least it rhymes.
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How about that first case, Mac?
29
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Maybe we should wait
30
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until the aircraft makes its final approach.
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Yoo-hoo.
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Renee!
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My God, I think he's gonna kiss her.
34
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I was wrong. He's gonna swallow her.
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- How's my little porkchop?
36
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- Delicious.
37
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- I've never seen Bull so happy.
38
00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:03,950
- I've never seen Bull so alive.
39
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,780
I've never seen Bull with a hooker.
40
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Of course, I don't get out much.
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Porkchop is a hooker?
42
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- Are you sure?
43
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- Positive.
44
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She put in so much time in holding
45
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at the Brooklyn Courthouse...
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...that we put her
47
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in the staff Christmas picture.
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No, it can't be.
49
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:18,590
Well, somebody give me $50
50
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and we won't have to speculate.
51
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Dan.
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I am just kidding.
53
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Twenty-five would probably do it.
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- I could call Brooklyn and get her file.
55
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- No, that would feel like we're spying.
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Here's the signed blank checks
57
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you asked for, sugar bun.
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Oh.
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- Put a rush on it, huh?
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Yeah.
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That's lunch, everybody.
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Sir, uh,
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could Florence take this prisoner?
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I need to run down to the bank
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and cash in my IRA.
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I got my eye on a little snowblower
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I think Renee's gonna flip over.
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Bull, your IRA's for your retirement.
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Oh, I'll probably be killed in a prison break
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long before that.
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Imagine the neck muscles you need
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to hold up that much granite.
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- Sir?
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- Sure, Bull, go ahead.
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There he spends.
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00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:12,270
You let him go?
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You're just gonna sit there
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00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:15,580
while he cashes in his life savings?
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Come on, Miss Sullivan,
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we're not sure she's--
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00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,680
Still working horizontally?
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Afraid so. She got busted last week.
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Here's her file.
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Okay, okay, we have proof.
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Somebody has got to do something.
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How do you tell 7 feet
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of unbridled emotion...
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...that the apple of his eye
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takes American Express?
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Well, it has to come from a friend.
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Uh-uh.
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No, I was the one who told him
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about the tooth fairy.
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Like to rip my lips off.
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- Are your eyes closed?
96
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- Yeah.
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- Ta-da.
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- Oh.
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Bull, what can I say?
100
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Did you remember
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00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,840
the optional maintenance guarantee?
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- You know I did.
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- Oh, ha, ha.
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Surprise.
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Sheila.
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- Glad to see me?
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- Yes, of course. Ha, ha.
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- But, uh, last time, I remember--
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- Shh.
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Don't talk.
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Just listen.
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Our last date was the most intense...
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...erotic experience of my life.
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And I said we could never top it.
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But I've been doing more research.
116
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And I think it just might be possible...
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...if you don't mind taking a few risks.
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Good.
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I'll pick you up after court.
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Hey, you okay?
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- Think I'm starting to hyperventilate.
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- Here, breathe into this.
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Uh, hey, and don't worry about the socks
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in there.
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- Oh, great.
126
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- Problem?
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- I asked for whitewalls.
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- Oh.
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I thought maybe you wanted one
130
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that folded out into a bed.
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Who in the hell are you?
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And where can I get that shade of dye?
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Look, Bull is a friend of mine...
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...and I happen to care about him
135
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very much.
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Oh, that's very nice.
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But I didn't see your name on him
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anywhere.
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And I'm very thorough.
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My name happens to be Christine Sullivan,
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legal aid.
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Renee Carroll, hospitality engineer.
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Listen, I know who you are
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and I know what you are.
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So don't think
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you can go hustling one of my friends.
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Meow.
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I'm gonna go get a cup coffee.
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Can I get you a saucer of milk?
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Listen, I'm warning you...
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...I will tell him everything if I have to.
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Go ahead, tell him what I am.
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Tell him that I'm after his money.
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You say you're a friend of his,
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then you know.
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It'll kill him.
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Harry, she said that we had...
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...the most erotic sexual experience
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of her life.
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Isn't this the date
161
00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:35,210
where you got accidentally drugged?
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I don't remember a thing.
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Now she expects the miracle worker.
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Well, Dan, just be yourself.
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That's not funny, Harry.
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He gave the slut a motorcycle.
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What slut, and how many cc's?
168
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,200
She admitted it, Your Honor.
169
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:06,030
She as much as dared me to tell Bull
170
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:06,030
she was a prostitute and after his money.
171
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:10,010
- And?
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00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:10,010
- Well, I looked him right in the eye...
173
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...and chickened out.
174
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,310
Oh, hi, sir. Christine.
175
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,880
Uh, I was just wondering...
176
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:19,990
...if we had time enough left for me
177
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:19,990
to run down to the tire store.
178
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,920
Bull, would you mind
179
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,920
if we had a little chat first?
180
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:25,120
No, sir.
181
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I could listen
182
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:28,460
to your feckless meandering all night.
183
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:35,600
- Bull, it's about Renee.
184
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:35,600
- Yeah?
185
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,140
Read this.
186
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:41,730
Why don't you just tell me?
187
00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:45,910
Bull, Renee is a....
188
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:51,880
She's an....
189
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:56,350
For God's sakes.
190
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:56,350
Bull, the woman is a hooker.
191
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:05,860
We're gonna need a gross of pencils...
192
00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:08,060
...three dozen typewriter ribbons--
193
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Six pints of whole blood....
194
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Here's your coffee, sir.
195
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,160
Bull's still at it, huh?
196
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,450
That was a major appliance, wasn't it?
197
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A.44-caliber.
198
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,540
It won't stop him,
199
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,540
but it should slow him down.
200
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:58,850
You needed new duct work anyway, sir.
201
00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:01,290
Oh, uh, I just got off the phone
202
00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:01,290
with the hospital.
203
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,450
They released Dan 20 minutes ago.
204
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:07,160
- The big guy really nailed him, huh?
205
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:07,160
- Well, Bull didn't really hit him.
206
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:10,960
Dan flinched, fell backwards,
207
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:10,960
bounced off the wall, tripped over the rug...
208
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:14,100
...and dented Harry's refrigerator
209
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:14,100
with his back.
210
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,010
So that's why
211
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,010
they call him Dr. Strangelove.
212
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:31,250
- Dan, are you all right?
213
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:31,250
- I'm fine.
214
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:36,650
I've got my friends, I've got my career,
215
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:36,650
and an unlimited mileage rate.
216
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,430
All the fires are out.
217
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:49,500
Say, that is good news.
218
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I figure 5000 should cover it.
219
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,510
Oh, my dear God.
220
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,950
Is it that bad?
221
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,880
Did you see The Day After?
222
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,960
Oh, great. My battery's dead.
223
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:27,540
I've got a date with the duchess
224
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:27,540
of discipline and my battery is dead.
225
00:12:27,710 --> 00:12:29,180
Christine, do me a favor...
226
00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:32,440
...and push me over to that plug
227
00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:32,440
so I can recharge this thing.
228
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,980
Sure, Dan.
229
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:40,880
Heh, hey. You ever see Jon Voight
230
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:40,880
and Jane Fonda in Coming Home?
231
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:45,050
Did you ever see Richard Widmark
232
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:45,050
in Kiss of Death?
233
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,300
She, uh,
234
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,300
really ripped your heart out, huh?
235
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,180
You wanna talk about it?
236
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,780
You will eventually,
237
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,780
and I'll be there for you.
238
00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:17,320
Fort Benning, Georgia.
239
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:22,450
The 82nd Airborne Division
240
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:22,450
said to say hello.
241
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,930
Hey, baby.
242
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,230
I missed you.
243
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,330
As much as all the other guys?
244
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,280
Come on,
245
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,280
you don't think there's another guy.
246
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:42,170
Does the name John ring a bell?
247
00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:48,110
You sleep with men for money.
248
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:52,250
So you figured it out.
249
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,760
What are you gonna do?
250
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,760
Sic your judge friend on me?
251
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:56,830
- Ugh, Renee--
252
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:56,830
- What is he gonna charge me with?
253
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,020
Felony present-accepting?
254
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,330
Well, I'm not gonna give them back,
255
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,330
because I already hocked them.
256
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,410
- That's your business.
257
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,410
- That's right, that is my business.
258
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:08,940
My business is conning jerks like you.
259
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,910
Goodbye, Renee.
260
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,280
Wait a minute.
261
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:21,620
I took you to the cleaners.
262
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:21,620
You've been had, big boy. Don't you get it?
263
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:26,060
- Yeah, I do get it.
264
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:26,060
- Good.
265
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,750
Then go ahead and hit me.
266
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,750
Come on, I can take it.
267
00:14:28,930 --> 00:14:30,920
Go ahead. I've been hit before.
268
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,290
I feel sorry for you.
269
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:37,540
I said, hit me, bozo.
270
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:40,540
I see people like you every day.
271
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:44,010
They take and take
272
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:44,010
because they never fill up inside.
273
00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:46,440
Why don't you get angry with me?
274
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:49,480
- Oh, I'm angry, all right.
275
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:49,480
- See?
276
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,010
I'm angry at all those people
277
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,010
that hurt you...
278
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:55,880
...because they hurt you real bad.
279
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:59,660
And it makes me sad
280
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:59,660
to think about the other Renee.
281
00:15:00,090 --> 00:15:02,690
The one that never had a chance.
282
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:05,360
The one I fell in love with.
283
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:10,260
Bye.
284
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,340
That's it?
285
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,810
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
286
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,180
Happy anniversary.
287
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,150
It would've been two weeks tonight.
288
00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,900
Sir.
289
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,980
- What's that?
290
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,980
- Your couch.
291
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,980
I guess reupholstering
292
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,980
is out of the question, huh?
293
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:34,490
Uh-huh.
294
00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:38,480
- You want the next case, sir?
295
00:16:35,390 --> 00:16:38,480
- Bull, are you okay?
296
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:43,630
Sir, life may be filled with pitfalls
297
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:43,630
and uncertainty...
298
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,530
...but from adversity comes strength.
299
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:48,300
Who said that?
300
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,900
It's me, sir.
301
00:16:53,670 --> 00:16:55,230
Bull.
302
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,640
Holy cow.
303
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:06,620
That is a bold fashion statement.
304
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,460
Your Honor, may I address the court?
305
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,770
- Listen, I-- I don't--
306
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,770
- I...
307
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,200
...am a hooker.
308
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:30,640
Renee, don't.
309
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:37,150
You see, I degrade myself for money
310
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:37,150
because I don't like myself very much.
311
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,250
- Please.
312
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,250
- No, that's--
313
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,890
That's not entirely true.
314
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,420
I don't like myself at all.
315
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,290
And this man...
316
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:54,200
...made me feel like a princess.
317
00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:59,300
Do you know why?
318
00:18:01,010 --> 00:18:03,140
You know why?
319
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,780
Well, I don't know why either.
320
00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:11,510
Can somebody please tell me why?
321
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,020
Okay, okay. It's gonna be okay.
322
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:16,050
- Let's call it a night, Mac.
323
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:16,050
- Right.
324
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,160
- Uh, I'll get her some water.
325
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,160
- Thank you, Flo.
326
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:24,590
Everything under control, Bull?
327
00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:31,670
Right. I've been meaning to go in
328
00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:31,670
for that brain scan.
329
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:35,700
All right, folks, show's over.
330
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:42,310
Why did she have to do this?
331
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:42,310
Now I feel sorry for her.
332
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,750
Let's take her into my office.
333
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,620
Maybe I'll get one for Christmas.
334
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:54,360
Okay, now take a deep breath.
335
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,360
Feel any better?
336
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,590
I feel dizzy and nauseous.
337
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:05,000
Reality. Does that to you sometimes.
338
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:09,870
I don't even know why
339
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:09,870
I came here, but I knew I just had to.
340
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,070
I think it had something to do
341
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,070
with self-respect.
342
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:18,910
You had an attack of dignity.
343
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,120
Hopefully, it's chronic.
344
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,930
Should we call a doctor?
345
00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:30,060
Good idea.
346
00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:31,700
- You hurt?
347
00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:31,700
- No.
348
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:37,130
I would like somebody
349
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:37,130
to take an x-ray of you...
350
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,240
...to tell me what you are.
351
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,610
Because no man
352
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,610
can be that compassionate.
353
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,480
You're wrong there, Renee.
354
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,810
He's a man, all right.
355
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:51,150
Admittedly, there aren't many around
356
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:51,150
who are as special as he is...
357
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,120
...but there are a few.
358
00:19:53,290 --> 00:19:58,060
And, if we're lucky,
359
00:19:53,290 --> 00:19:58,060
if we're very, very lucky...
360
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:01,790
...one crosses our path in a lifetime.
361
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,570
Are we talking about the film Gandhi?
362
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:11,200
Some of them are cute too.
363
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:16,000
- Come on, now. Upsy-daisy.
364
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:16,000
- I feel so embarrassed.
365
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:18,340
Oh, forget it.
366
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:20,440
You know something?
367
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,940
It's not what other people think
368
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,940
that counts.
369
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,710
It's how we feel about ourselves.
370
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,150
You make me feel beautiful.
371
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,790
Yeah, well, red's your color.
372
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,990
Ha, ha. It's not the dress.
373
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,960
I know, but if I hear one more compliment,
374
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,960
I think I'm gonna throw up.
375
00:20:40,430 --> 00:20:42,670
Hey, that reminds me, I'm hungry.
376
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,640
- How about you?
377
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,640
- Yeah, I could use a bite.
378
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:53,210
Great. I know this quaint little
379
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:53,210
all-you-can-eat liver joint down the block.
380
00:20:53,950 --> 00:20:57,210
If you'll be there,
381
00:20:53,950 --> 00:20:57,210
then it's gonna be wonderful.
382
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:10,300
He is one special man.
383
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:12,230
Yeah, he is.
384
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,200
Come on, I know a quaint little
385
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,200
all-you-can-eat kelp bar...
386
00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:17,460
...next to the liver joint.
387
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,000
Dan.
388
00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:26,210
It's time.
389
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,850
Sheila, ha, ha, about the wheelchair--
390
00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:33,320
Shh.
391
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:35,550
You're talking again, Dan.
392
00:21:36,890 --> 00:21:38,620
By the way...
393
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:42,090
...three of my friends from Sweden
394
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:42,090
will be joining us.
395
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:45,320
I'm afraid they're not very bright.
396
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:46,990
I hope you don't mind.
397
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,230
Good.
398
00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:53,810
The hotel address is on the key.
399
00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:58,640
We'll be waiting for you
400
00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:58,640
in the Marquis de Sade suite.
401
00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:00,140
Bite.
402
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:05,410
Don't be late...
403
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:08,490
...or we'll have to start without you.
404
00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:25,570
Light a candle for me.
405
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:34,240
Uh, could you give me a hand, please?
406
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,250
Bravo. Huzzah.
407
00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:43,050
- No, really. Come on, I'm serious.
408
00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:43,050
- Come on, gang. Kelp's on me.
409
00:22:43,220 --> 00:22:45,560
Wait. No, no, no, wait. You wouldn't.
410
00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:48,960
We would, we want to, we did.
411
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,760
Flo. Flo.
412
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:54,530
Phil. Phil.
413
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:57,190
Come here, come here, come here.
414
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:57,190
Hurry up.
415
00:22:57,370 --> 00:22:59,930
Look, they are waiting.
416
00:22:57,370 --> 00:22:59,930
You have to help me out.
417
00:23:00,110 --> 00:23:02,200
Sure, pal.
418
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:09,280
I'll do my best.
419
00:23:12,490 --> 00:23:14,220
Phil!